Does Suceess Needs To Be Redefined?

Growing in this world of cutthroat competition, educated in a school with sky-high ambitions, I was built for success, I was bred to succeed. I was running in the race of success before I knew the meaning of success. My brain was hardwired to achieve. That was the sole meaning of life I could possibly comprehend.

Now, I am almost an adult, about to cross the threshold of my bubble of an existence. I was a dumb little kid, to accept all the norms. Norms that has not, for once, proved its significance to unmask the cloak of complication of life.


I thought I wanted to conquer it all but I started asking questions that really matter. I asked myself what I want. With a clear opinion in view that I want to be happy no matter what, I asked if conquering the whole world will quench my thirst for more and make me happy? I got an honest answer from my heart, a resounding emphatic no. But my brain is hard-wired to succeed! How do I conduct my life then?

"Success (n) 1. the achievement of an aim 2. the gaining of wealth or status" is how Oxford English Dictionary defines it. This is the norm. But I prefer customisation. There isn't a mass production of humans to work as 'hands' like the cloning of Stormtroopers in clone wars (Star Wars) but every individual is born with a set of unique qualities. It's not hard to acknowledge that. So if every individual is unique, shouldn't success be customised according to their needs and capabilities? Why does everyone have to run in the same race when what they want is different for all?


I, for once, want to customize the definition of success, something that I work hard for, achieve it and get my deserved haven of happiness. Earning a massive wealth or power is secondary when I won't be content in my heart. After almost 6 years of depression and 3 year of generalized anxiety disorder giving me enough panic attacks to jolt me into reality, I realized that being stressed in studies or career can do me no good but deteriorate my mental health. So I sought out my passion, passion for literature. My definition of success is still an outline but it definitely involves a nourishment of soul with a more or less constant peace in my mind.


What's your definition of success?

In the Making of 'Outliers'- Book Review of Malcolm Gladwell's 'Outliers'

An author, journalist, cultural commentator and intellectual adventurer, Malcolm Gladwell has seen a fair share of success not only in his career as a journalist but as an author of two previous books: The Tipping point: How little things can make a big difference and Blink: The power of thinking without thinking, both of which were New York Times bestsellers.

Malcolm Gladwell's 'OUTLIERS' is yet another take to unravel the mystery of success. The word outliers refers to the small part of our population, who manage to stand out and are usually deemed to be super-successful by the ordinary people. Right from the start of the book, a reader is 'almost' promised to be taught to be the part of the outliers of our society.

The book is divided into two parts, the first named opportunity and the second, legacy.

The first part of the book starts out with an explanation of the Matthew effect which basically traces back to the successful hockey players of Canada, most of who were born in January or the starting months of the year, giving them an advantage over other players in a system where the eligibility cut-off for age-class hockey is January 1. Being born early, these players get a few more months of physical maturity to ace the game. In simple words, it's out of sheer advantage of being born at the beginning of the year which paves the way for those hockey players to get better at their game than their counterparts.

The second chapter which is also one of the most renowned concepts of all time and which drove me to read this book is the 10,000 hours rule. Its relatively simple to understand but difficult to achieve. The author substantiates his arguments by stating that one will truly become the master of any pursuit if one puts 10,000 hours in it.

The next two chapters named The trouble with geniuses elaborates a few essential points to understand to being an outlier. The first part recalls of Chris Langan, a celebrity outlier who had an IQ of 190 while Einstein had of 150. Through a series of elaborations and works of phsychologists and sociologists, it is shown how you need a certain level of IQ to succeed but once you cross the threshold, assumed to be 120, you have an equal chance of being an outlier with someone of even higher IQ.

The second part presents a comparison between J. Robert Oppenheimer, a successful theoretical physicist and Chris Langan. Both of them belonged to contrasting family backgrounds, the former being from the wealthiest neighbourhood in Manhattan, with tons of opportunity at every corner in life to make it big whereas the latter, with a drunken stepfather and born in a culture who is not capacitated to give any kind of push to the talented students,  Chris Langan ended up in rural Missouri in a horse farm as opposed to his capabilities. Their family backgrounds made a big difference to their differing practical intelligence. Oppenheimer, taught to grab the opportunities and negotiate with circumstances fared well in the realistic world as opposed to Chris Langan. These two chapeters simply end on the note of importance of being from the right background because it's not only the inert talent of an individual which factors into making them an outlier. The next chapter is similar, presenting opportunities because of some kind of luck in their favour.

The second part of book named 'Legacy' shows that there are certain cultural legacies that gives the outliers an edge. Its generally accepted that Asians are smart but the reality is that they are brought up by generations that have worked harder than rest of the people and cultivate the same quality in their successors.

A very interesting chapter of this book is 'The Ethnic Theory of Plane Crashes'. A fair share of mystery has clouded the realities of plane crashes but a concept of PDI (Power distance index) has been introduced to explain majority of plane crashes. PDI is basically an attitude towards hierarchy, how a junior deals with any ambiguity on part of a senior pilot because of their values to respect the higher authority. For example it has been noted that South Korea having one of the highest PDI has had most plane crashes in the past until the issue was addressed.

This book surely explains a lot how ordinary people become outliers but if one is looking for motivation, except the 10,000 hours rule, one can't find any reliable source of motivation, because the reality is that while hard work is instrumental to success, there is a lot more required which is not under our control.

The book is a smooth read and the writing style of Gladwell is commendable. The author has used sufficient real life examples to substantiate his well thought arguments into what goes in the making of an Outlier but has not really taught how to become one!

RIP: Technology!

This one moment we are enjoying the bliss of technology, teens watching TV series on phone while eating, kids exhausting Google with boring science questions for projects, moms looking for cooking recipes for stuff they already know how to cook and dads looking at stock markets, and the next moment, there’s a moment of silence, more silent than silence itself, hearts skipping a beat and the internet and all technology dies out, to never come back! I am sure if you are living in the 21^st century and you are not visiting us from the past in your time machine, you will go blank!


We have all had a moment when our technology went awry with either cell phones malfunctioning, or Wi-Fi going astray or laptops freezing, and it was a complete devastation! Now if it’s all taken away from us forever, is there any word worse than devastating? I am not even sure there’s one.


The elders of our family will still strive with pride to reminisce those days when they survived and perhaps lived, without all this technology. But we, Millennials, will feel like their whole life, their whole existence is coming crashing down in front of their own eyes. Here’s the thing, not only are we dependent on technology but we have been taught to be dependent on it. It was not a privilege, it was a necessity! None of us have survived without the looming influence of technology even if we wanted to. And why would anyone? If we can get connected to our loved ones instantly or can have knowledge at the tips of our hands, how could anyone abstain from it? And this is coming from a person who has tried to stay off the grid and as far as, from technology longer than any teenager of her time. I can’t even work my way around an Ipad and I am 22!

But assessing the situation really, let’s acknowledge some of the industries dependent on technology, the whole financial and economical system of a country will turn to ashes because it doesn’t take an expert to know that all their operation is based on technology showing its miracles. Even defence systems are software based. The entire manufacturing departments, the Aviation, the Railways will be tore apart. And the financial system, let’s just say its unimaginable! To top it off, if you even have to get a little piece of information, we would have to go through mounds of books to obtain it. If we have to call our loved ones, use the old landline (I am not even sure if many of us own that) to call them. We will be transported to the past without a time machine!


Yes the ancient times might be simpler but we will still hate it. But like our species have done over centuries, we will evolve. Maybe we will pick up better ways to live life along the way. It might not be simple but it’s almost a law of the universe, everything and for this matter, every time period has its pros and cons.


After our existence almost getting uprooted, on the extent of being wiped off, we will survive. We still have our intelligence to learn to adapt and build a new future. Because if we wouldn’t have it, we wouldn’t have come so far! Sure things will be different this time but it won’t do any harm to gradually learn to work harder and grow to be more independent, closer to our loved ones and yet farther from unhealthy temptations. We can build a system of existence will lesser disadvantages than of the previous one, because if anything, we study history and learn.

How to Beat the Blues in 7 easy steps!

1.      Stop. If you feel uneasy or tired, even if you aren’t doing much, just stop and take a break.
2. Lie down or sit still and scan your body and mind. Take notice of what’s the source of this uneasiness.
3.  Now that you suspect of something in your body that’s not feeling normal or some thought in mind that has been bothering you, acknowledge it.  If you can resolve the issue, do it or just talk to yourself of any incident that caused this change in you.
4. While you strive for a solution, don’t strive to find one. Sometimes the simplest change in mood can have no cause, accept that.
5. Focus on the rhythm of your breathing and perhaps make a visualisation of it. Is it smooth? If not, acknowledge it. See where it’s falling short or where you draw a long breath of air. Check for proper ventilation in your room and if possible, head out for a fresh breath of air.
6. Breathing has a simple relationship to your mood. Your mood controls your breathing pattern. So now you leverage it the other way round.  Use your breathing to control your mood. Take your smartphone and open YouTube or any easily accessible and free app to guide you through some breathing exercises or you can also try some meditation practices it has.
7. Use some external stimulants to calm down. Don’t go for anything new; go for the same stuff or practice you use to feel relaxed. It can range from playing a musical instrument, using aromatherapy, read a nice book, draw or paint or you can even try making zentangles ; it’s easy and required no skill. Pamper yourself a bit and maybe get a head massage or soak your feet in warm water with maybe some Epsom salt.